Sometimes what may look like lack of self-control is actually a lack of social skills. Kids with certain issues may not understand social rules. And it’s hard to follow social rules if you don’t know when you’re breaking them!
Use this table to learn what might be causing or contributing to your child’s issues with physical, emotional or impulse control.
ADHD
A brain-based condition that makes it hard to pay attention and control impulses.
Many kids with ADHD have trouble waiting to get what they want (delaying gratification).
ADHD affects the brain’s ability to “hit the brakes” and think through consequences before speaking or acting.
Some kids with ADHD struggle with hyperactivity. ADHD can also affect emotional control.
Fidgeting and trouble staying seated
Nonstop talking
Interrupting or talking over others
Blurting out answers in class
Expressing emotion that’s too intense for the situation
Throwing tantrums when frustrated
Having trouble taking turns or playing too rough
Sensory processing issues
Being over- or under sensitive to sensory input such as sights, sounds, flavours, smells and textures.
Sensory processing issues may also affect motor control. Kids with sensory issues may struggle with body awareness (proprioception) or spatial orientation (the vestibular sense).
Kids who are oversensitive may try to run away from the stimulation. Or it may cause a sensory meltdown they can’t control.
Kids who are under sensitive may seek out stimulation in ways that annoy other people (such as tapping them or pacing around the room).
Jumping on furniture and crashing into people or things
Fidgeting, squirming in seat or pacing
Refusing to wear new clothes or try new foods
Having intense meltdowns over seemingly little things (like hearing too much noise or seeing bright lights)
Recoiling from a hug or erupting in anger after getting accidentally bumped into
Slamming things down or ripping paper when erasing
Nonverbal learning disabilities (NVLD)
Difficulties with interpreting and responding to unspoken communication. This includes body language, facial gestures and tone of voice.
Kids with NVLD tend to talk a lot. But they may do so in socially inappropriate ways.
Kids with NVLD may have a hard time picking up on social cues. They might not realize they’re breaking social rules or need to adjust their behaviour.
They may also get fixated on a topic or idea and have trouble moving on to something new.
Standing too close to people
Interrupting others and hogging the conversation
Sharing too much information
Asking too many questions or getting stuck on a topic
Trouble adjusting to change
Cutting in line
Social communication disorder (SCD)
A brain-based condition that causes difficulty with the unspoken, subtle rules of spoken language.
This makes it hard to communicate effectively in social and academic settings.
Kids with SCD may seem like they can’t keep themselves from doing or saying the wrong thing during conversations.
But it’s hard to follow social rules when kids don’t understand them or notice they’re breaking them.
Trouble adjusting language to different situations (such as talking the same way in the classroom as on the playground)
Talking too much or going off-topic
Not knowing how to start or sustain a conversation
Having trouble “reading the room” and taking part in group conversations
Talking too casually to an authority figure
Dyspraxia
A brain-based condition that involves difficulty with motor control, such as coordinating a sequence of movements.
Kids with dyspraxia have trouble calling up strategies to move more gracefully. They may also struggle to adjust the volume, pitch or rate of their speech.
Some people may misperceive these difficulties. They could view a child with dyspraxia as being disruptive on purpose.
Trouble moving effectively such as when tying shoes or playing sports
Speaking too loudly
Dropping things
Bumping into or inadvertently pushing people
Playing too roughly
Learning issues like dyslexia, dysgraphia, and dyscalculia
Brain-based issues that make it hard for kids to read, write or do math.
Many kids with learning issues also have ADHD.
Kids with learning issues often get frustrated when they can’t master material, even when they’re trying really hard.
Anxiety is also common in kids with learning issues and can lead them to quickly give up on tasks.
Breaking pencils and crumpling up homework
Throwing tantrums or having verbal outbursts
Worrying a lot about little things
Fidgeting or constantly tapping legs or feet
Refusing to take part in a social or school activity
If your child struggles with self-control, take a look at strategies to help him gain self-control. Explore apps that can help tweens and teens with self-control, or apps to help younger kids. And find out what to do if you think your child might have ADHD.