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One of my favourite sayings is “Fair is not equal.” It would be pretty silly if treating people equally meant treating everyone the same way—if one person wears glasses, should everyone wear glasses? No. Fair is giving people what they need.
I know from my work with families how frustrating it can be when people don’t understand the need for extra time on tests and other common accommodations for students with learning and attention issues. Nobody questions the use of accommodations for people with physical impairments, such as providing glasses to a student who has trouble seeing or providing a wheelchair to someone who has trouble walking. But some people have trouble believing that someone needs extra time on tests. Some of the comments coming from friends may come from jealousy. Not many people are jealous of glasses or wheelchairs. But many kids would love to have extra time on a test—particularly if they’re stressed for time themselves. This is especially true for high-stakes tests like the NAPLAN and HSC. Some of the comments may be the result of misunderstandings. They may not understand or know that even smart people can have trouble processing information. Needing glasses or a wheelchair can be easier to understand because it’s easier to see “evidence” of those kinds of problems. The first step in addressing the issue your son is having with his friends is for you to talk with your child. Make sure he understands why he needs the extra time on tests. Discuss the impact his learning and attention issues have on other areas of his life, such as how much time it takes him to complete his homework or finish a project. Talk about how having a learning or attention issue often means he has to work harder in order to show what he knows. Then make sure he understands that in order to get extra time on for NAPLAN and other tests, a doctor had to determine that he needed extra time—just like an optometrist determines whether someone needs glasses. The next step is to help your child practice explaining this to his friends. Look for ways to help him avoid sounding defensive. You may want to suggest something like:
I was recently asked the following question and decided to share it with you all. “My son has them, and I’m wondering if he’ll always have them.”
Answer - With a few clear exceptions, learning and attention issues cannot be cured. That doesn’t mean kids who have them can’t be successful. With the right support, your child can learn to work around difficulties and use strengths to his advantage. No one is exactly certain what causes learning and attention issues. But we do know that it’s not just one thing. For example, there appears to be a hereditary, genetic component for many children. But learning and attention issues can also arise from some medical conditions. These include seizure disorders, Lyme disease and injuries to the brain. Learning and attention issues can also be a side effect of treatments or medications for some medical conditions. In these cases, learning and attention issues can be “cured” in the sense that stopping the treatment or curing the underlying medical issue could get rid of the learning and attention issues. Some children may seem to have learning and attention issues because they’ve missed a lot of school. As a result, they have gaps in their learning. Other students may be struggling in school because they’re not yet fluent in English. Teaching them in their native language, improving their English skills or giving remedial instruction could resolve their difficulties with learning and attention. But those are exceptions. For millions of children, learning and attention issues are a result of how their brains work. Researchers have been using brain-imaging and other tools to explore differences in brain structure and chemistry. This has improved our understanding of learning and attention issues. But it hasn’t led to a cure. Remember that there are many things parents and teachers can do to help kids with learning and attention issues to be successful. Effective strategies include:
Autism spectrum disorders (including Asperger’s syndrome) are not learning and attention issues. But autism and some learning and attention issues can have similar symptoms. For instance, a child with either might have social difficulties. Learn the key differences between the conditions and then find out how you can help your child if they struggle with social skills.
Some children with learning and attention issues have similar symptoms as children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). This is especially true of kids with Asperger’s syndrome. It’s natural to think both groups of kids will benefit from the same type of interventions. But there are major differences that are important to understand. What You Need to Know About Autism Spectrum Disorder Until recently, ASD was considered an “umbrella” diagnosis that covered several different conditions. These included Asperger’s syndrome; pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS); Rett syndrome; childhood disintegrative disorder; and autistic disorder. Although the conditions had some overlap of signs and symptoms, they were considered separate diagnoses. The diagnosis changed in the newest version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which was published in May 2013. This manual gives professionals the criteria needed to make a diagnosis. In the new DSM, all of the subgroups are now considered autism spectrum disorder. All kids with ASD share similar symptoms. But the word spectrum means there’s a range of severity levels. The severity of ASD symptoms is described by a Support Level of 1, 2 or 3, with 3 being the highest level of support. The ratings scales are new. It’s not yet clear if children who would have been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome under the old DSM criteria will now be diagnosed with ASD, Support Level 1. Despite this change, for a variety of reasons, you’re likely to keep hearing the term Asperger’s syndrome. What Is Autism Spectrum Disorder? ASD is a brain-based developmental disability that affects how kids process certain types of information. Kids with ASD have difficulty with social interaction and communication. Kids with ASD also have trouble thinking flexibly and dealing with change. They often have an obsessive interest in certain topics or items. They may engage in repetitive behaviors, routines and movements (which some people call stimming). Many kids with ASD also have sensory processing issues. Their brains and bodies over- or underreact to information that comes in through the senses. For instance, they may be very sensitive to touch and even feel it as pain. Why People Confuse ASD With Learning and Attention Issues Kids with Asperger’s syndrome do not have the speech or cognitive delays that other children with autism have. They have average or above-average intelligence (even in the “gifted” range). But they have social difficulties. Kids with Asperger’s syndrome function at a higher level than other kids with autism. This means their issues could be mistaken for learning and attention issues. To some degree, that’s because the symptoms overlap. For example, kids with Asperger’s syndrome may show some of the following traits:
There is a lot of overlap in the symptoms of ASD and learning and attention issues. But they’re not the same thing. For kids with ASD the main struggle involves social understanding, communication, and repetitive routines or behaviours (including narrow and obsessive interests). These symptoms are not typical of kids learning and attention issues. The narrow interests and repetitive behaviour also make ASD different from social communication issues, which can otherwise look a lot like ASD. Like kids with ASD, children with learning and attention issues may struggle with social skills and communication. But those issues are related to their specific learning issues. For instance, a child with visual processing issues may stand too close to someone during conversation because he has trouble judging distances. A child with ASD might stand too close because he has a poor sense of personal space. Before you can help your child, you’ll need to know whether he has ASD or a learning and attention issue. Talking to your child’s teacher or doctor about an evaluation is the first step toward finding strategies to help your child. There are many factors and feelings to consider before you decide whether to go with medication for your child. It’s a very personal choice. Before you decide on medication for your child, ask yourself these questions.
Nothing works better than love. This is the most common advice given to parents by Ned Hallowell a child psychiatrist and co-author of Superparenting for ADD: An Innovative Approach to Raising Your Distracted Child gives to parents who are having on-going trouble with a difficult child.
He says “Hang in there. Keep loving him. Keep showing up. Keep trying. Keep setting limits, offering new ideas, making deals, wrestling with one catastrophe after another. Just don’t give up. Don’t write him off. One day all your love and all your efforts—and his—will pay off.” He finds that sometimes these parents get annoyed with him for giving this advice. They already know that, they say, and they want something more esoteric, something more elaborate, something new that will work. And he does have various new interventions to offer. But none of them is worth five cents without love. Tim Hallowell has been treating patients with ADHD since 1978 and states “I’ve been in the business long enough to know that I’m right. I’ve seen teens go to jail but, because one parent hung in there and kept loving them, find great careers for themselves years later. I’ve seen children with ADD get tossed out of school after school, their parents told each time that this child is the “worst” (the actual word used) the school has ever seen, only at age 25 to own a million-dollar business and be as happy as can be. I’ve seen adolescents with ADD get so depressed that they wanted to commit suicide and even try it, only years later to be helping me counsel other adolescents on how much better life can get. I’ve seen girls curl up on the floor of my office crying, pounding their heads, saying how stupid they are and how life sucks and how they wish they were dead, only years later to be sitting in a chair in that same office telling me about their medical school acceptance, their upcoming marriage, or their having started their own business. I’ve seen boys spend most of their teens smoking pot and doing very little else, only in their twenties to find the right job and the right girl and turn life into a spectacular success. The difference—every time—is love: Love applied by someone, somewhere, somehow.” Straight from Ned Hallowell (taken from https://www.understood.org/en/community-events on 25/3/2015). “My name is Ned Hallowell and I’m a child psychiatrist. The words above are from my book--Superparenting for ADD: An Innovative Approach to Raising Your Distracted Child. I co-wrote the book with Peter S. Jensen, M.D., one of the country’s top ADHD researchers. People sometimes ask why we started a book about ADHD with a chapter on love. The answer is simple. Love is so powerful, yet we don’t talk about it nearly enough. Doctors don’t stress love enough. Teachers don’t honor it enough. As a parent, the loving relationship you have with your child is more precious than gold. Now, let’s be clear. Treatment for ADHD matters a lot. Scientifically proven treatments can (and should) help your child. From behavior therapy to medication to counseling, there are many, many good options. But love is a key part of any treatment plan. Children who are loved, and who know they are loved, are getting the most powerful medicine for ADHD. So, as you wade through treatments and therapies, never lose sight of what’s important. As you face challenges, and celebrates successes, keep the focus on love. It can make all the difference. |
About ALAThe Australian Literacy Academy (ALA) is a private English tutoring centre in Castle Hill, NSW dedicated to helping children of all levels and spectrums reach their full potential in the area of literacy: reading, writing, spelling, comprehension and speaking and listening. Archives
October 2016
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