When a child’s academic performance falters or behaviour becomes a concern, parents and professionals can expend an enormous amount of energy on helping these two areas. Unfortunately an area of equal importance, self-esteem, is often neglected.
A child’s self-esteem can have a significant influence on their life. If we are to truly help a child struggling to learn, we need to pursue the goal of maximising self-esteem with the same fervour as literacy or other problems.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is quite simply the way we feel about ourselves. Having good self-esteem means that we feel we are a worthwhile and special person. Self-esteem is determined by how we evaluate our capabilities and reflects our feelings of being accepted and valued by others. For children experiencing difficulty with learning, developing a positive self-esteem is arduous, as they tend to experience failure and negative feedback from others more than other children do.
Why is it important to have a positive self-esteem?
Having poor self-esteem can be more debilitating than having a learning difficulty. How a person views and values him or herself can have a significant impact on almost everything they do including their career, relationships, mental wellbeing and happiness. Research has shown that children who have good self-esteem:
• are usually healthier,
• have better interpersonal relationships,
• are bothered less by worries and stress and are not so often depressed,
• manage problems better,
• try new things without too much fear of failing,
• are more motivated, and
• have less behaviour problems.
Positive self-esteem can also have a marked effect upon a child’s academic performance by increasing their motivation, ability to focus and willingness to take risks.
How does a child’s self-esteem develop over time?
Self-esteem develops overtime starting from birth. The self-esteem of young children is generally positive and the children may overestimate their capabilities. For example, ask a four-year-old if they are good at running and most will immediately exclaim ‘yes!’ as well as demonstrate their talent to you.
The self-esteem of a young child will be global in nature and they may say that
‘I am a good boy or girl’. The self-esteem of younger children is based largely on the feedback from others, especially parents, about their goodness and worth. As a child grows and they are better able to integrate feedback and experiences from their environment, self-esteem becomes closer to their actual performance or reality. Overtime a child’s self-esteem also becomes more differentiated. For example, an eight-year-old child may be able to explain ‘I am good at maths, but not very good at reading”
At approximately 7 years of age (and possibly even younger) children are able to compare their skills and abilities with others around them such as classmates. Once this happens, their perceived abilities or weaknesses compared to similar aged children or siblings become an important contributing factor to their self-esteem.
Schooling and a child’s self-esteem
The self-esteem of many children is threatened when they start school and have to cope in an unfamiliar situation with lots of other new children and new rules to learn. Problems such as having trouble with schoolwork, being bullied or not having any friends can adversely affect self-esteem.
As children progress through school, self-esteem wanes. During preschool and the early primary years, children are typically confident as evidenced by their curiosity and eagerness to learn. As they move into higher grades, they become increasingly aware of how their performance compares with that of their peers and more realistic about their capabilities.
Once a child has low self-esteem, it can be very difficult to reverse their feeling of worthlessness and they enter a cycle that perpetuates and enhances their negative feelings.
How can parents promote positive self-esteem in their children?
For many parents a primary goal in raising their children is instilling in them a sense of value and encouraging them to feel good about themselves. There are various strategies that a parent may use to assist their child to develop positive self-esteem. Most of the strategies are based on common sense and cover things such as:
• your relationship with your child,
• creating a safe haven,
• how to praise your child’s efforts,
• how and when to criticise behaviour and your expectations of your child,
• understanding your child’s strengths and interests,
• being open about your own strengths and weaknesses,
• not comparing your child’s performance to others, and
• ensuring that your child experiences success.
The self-esteem of all children should be actively facilitated. This is especially vital for children experiencing difficulty learning as their self-esteem is challenged constantly by negative messages and the experience of failure.
Parents play a significant role in shaping their child’s opinion of themselves and they need to actively employ strategies to enhance it where possible.
A child’s self-esteem can have a significant influence on their life. If we are to truly help a child struggling to learn, we need to pursue the goal of maximising self-esteem with the same fervour as literacy or other problems.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is quite simply the way we feel about ourselves. Having good self-esteem means that we feel we are a worthwhile and special person. Self-esteem is determined by how we evaluate our capabilities and reflects our feelings of being accepted and valued by others. For children experiencing difficulty with learning, developing a positive self-esteem is arduous, as they tend to experience failure and negative feedback from others more than other children do.
Why is it important to have a positive self-esteem?
Having poor self-esteem can be more debilitating than having a learning difficulty. How a person views and values him or herself can have a significant impact on almost everything they do including their career, relationships, mental wellbeing and happiness. Research has shown that children who have good self-esteem:
• are usually healthier,
• have better interpersonal relationships,
• are bothered less by worries and stress and are not so often depressed,
• manage problems better,
• try new things without too much fear of failing,
• are more motivated, and
• have less behaviour problems.
Positive self-esteem can also have a marked effect upon a child’s academic performance by increasing their motivation, ability to focus and willingness to take risks.
How does a child’s self-esteem develop over time?
Self-esteem develops overtime starting from birth. The self-esteem of young children is generally positive and the children may overestimate their capabilities. For example, ask a four-year-old if they are good at running and most will immediately exclaim ‘yes!’ as well as demonstrate their talent to you.
The self-esteem of a young child will be global in nature and they may say that
‘I am a good boy or girl’. The self-esteem of younger children is based largely on the feedback from others, especially parents, about their goodness and worth. As a child grows and they are better able to integrate feedback and experiences from their environment, self-esteem becomes closer to their actual performance or reality. Overtime a child’s self-esteem also becomes more differentiated. For example, an eight-year-old child may be able to explain ‘I am good at maths, but not very good at reading”
At approximately 7 years of age (and possibly even younger) children are able to compare their skills and abilities with others around them such as classmates. Once this happens, their perceived abilities or weaknesses compared to similar aged children or siblings become an important contributing factor to their self-esteem.
Schooling and a child’s self-esteem
The self-esteem of many children is threatened when they start school and have to cope in an unfamiliar situation with lots of other new children and new rules to learn. Problems such as having trouble with schoolwork, being bullied or not having any friends can adversely affect self-esteem.
As children progress through school, self-esteem wanes. During preschool and the early primary years, children are typically confident as evidenced by their curiosity and eagerness to learn. As they move into higher grades, they become increasingly aware of how their performance compares with that of their peers and more realistic about their capabilities.
Once a child has low self-esteem, it can be very difficult to reverse their feeling of worthlessness and they enter a cycle that perpetuates and enhances their negative feelings.
How can parents promote positive self-esteem in their children?
For many parents a primary goal in raising their children is instilling in them a sense of value and encouraging them to feel good about themselves. There are various strategies that a parent may use to assist their child to develop positive self-esteem. Most of the strategies are based on common sense and cover things such as:
• your relationship with your child,
• creating a safe haven,
• how to praise your child’s efforts,
• how and when to criticise behaviour and your expectations of your child,
• understanding your child’s strengths and interests,
• being open about your own strengths and weaknesses,
• not comparing your child’s performance to others, and
• ensuring that your child experiences success.
The self-esteem of all children should be actively facilitated. This is especially vital for children experiencing difficulty learning as their self-esteem is challenged constantly by negative messages and the experience of failure.
Parents play a significant role in shaping their child’s opinion of themselves and they need to actively employ strategies to enhance it where possible.
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